


Insomnia, insanire, intellectus

by zezo



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:00:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24134722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zezo/pseuds/zezo
Summary: Statement of Jaime Velazquez regarding his sibling's disappearance/death
Kudos: 2





	Insomnia, insanire, intellectus

ARCHIVIST

Statement of Jaime Velazquez regarding...

JAIME

My sibling disappearance, although it would be more appropriate to call it death

ARCHIVIST

Alright, January 4th, 2016 statement recorded directly from subject, you can start

  
  


JAIME

Oh well, I don’t really know where to start. I guess some background information

ARCHIVIST

*sigh* As long as you think it’s relevant

JAIME

Sigh I don't think my sibling ever was truly normal. And I mean that in the fondest way possible don’t get me wrong. Their mind was always going ten times as fast as most people and that made them irradiate energy and curiosity. They were two years younger than me but people often mistook us as twins because of their intelligence. They were what people tend to call a “gifted child”.

Sam hated that term. You see, they could read university-level books in 3rd grade, their mind was faster than any calculator I’ve ever seen and most adults agreed that they practically fit amongst them. But they were always bored. They read any book that ended in their hands in an afternoon, they remembered what happened in movies and shows to an uncanny level and the kids around them weren't enough.

There comes a point when children realize that adults are not perfect, that not only they have their own struggles but that they don’t know everything. All Sam wanted to do was know, but adults couldn’t provide. So they grew mad and resentful convinced that one day they’d know everything.

Not long after I started high school, they came to me crying like I've never seen them. I hugged them asking what was wrong, what happened, thinking they've been physically hurt 

“I can’t, I can’t”

They sobbed. I kept rubbing their back to calm them down, and they finally broke.

“I can’t know everything Jaime! I can’t, it’s impossible! I’ve done the math and I can’t know everything.”

I, of course couldn’t understand what they meant, so I asked

“The math? What do you mean Sam?”

“Even if I only tried to read all the books, there’s not enough time! I’d die before getting to Shakespeare even if I didn’t eat or sleep! I don’t have time.”

Not expecting that and certainly not qualified to act as if I understood, I tried my best to reassure them

“Someone else can know what you don’t. And if you know that person, doesn't that mean you know everything?”

They gave me a sad smile.

“I suppose so”

  
  


I'd probably say it started there but who knows. Maybe I’d lost my weird sibling from the start. Maybe I didn’t have one, to begin with. From that day they stopped sleeping. It was a gradual change but more often than not they wore prominent eye bags that shouldn’t be there for a kid their age. At first, we didn’t mention it because it seemed rude but as it became worse and worse we did it out of denial.

“Oh, but they slept yesterday it’s just one day,” mum said

“They slept last week, they can control it,” dad said

And even joking “The only chore they had to do, and they found a way to skip it.”

But soon it became clear that Sam wasn’t healthy and our parents took them to the doctor.

Sam did as they were told, but they found nothing wrong with them. They were a perfectly healthy kid who for some reason didn’t need to sleep. At this point, we all thought we might as well accept the higher light bill and move on as relatively normal as we could. There was nothing wrong with that.

And for a while it was. If we all ignored that, Sam was still my sibling and I loved them very much.

  
  


Then they went to college. It was strange to my family because they chose to study philosophy although with their mind we were sure Sam would be great in whatever they’d chosen and so if that was philosophy then we would be nothing but supportive.

Sam seemed to enjoy it. They got to dabble in different topics and learn things that weren’t in their curriculum thanks to their roommates. They were living the college dream but something in philosophy changed them. 

At this point everyone had accepted they didn’t sleep, that they'd rather read, and for some reason their body was willing to allow it so who were we to stop it. Even their roommates hadn’t enough time to question the logic behind it and accepted they had a ceaseless investigator in their dorm. But reading stopped and convoluted conspiratorial diagrams begun. That turned the situation from weird college anecdote to FBI investigation material.

At first, it was innocent enough, dealing with topics discussed in their classes. But as it progressed the diagrams made less and less sense. They were written in chicken scratch and highlighted words such as good or evil or paradox or fear.

I talked to Sam hoping this would calm them down, they were never quite sociable and I hoped seeing a familiar face would make them more reasonable. 

“How are you doing?”

“I’m fine,” they replied.

“I've been told you've had trouble at night lately.”

“Some would say.”

“And, do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

*Sigh* “Look Sam you know we only want to help you, so please if you gave us a reason then maybe.”

“Remember when I said I wanted to know everything.”

“Yes.”

“It's impossible.”

“Sam…”

“Knowledge keeps expanding and expanding, it gets lost and found, it evolves. History can be somehow true and false at the same time, and we can't do anything about it.”

I remained quiet 

“ “I only know that I know nothing.” said a man thousands of years ago. Would he have known the same had he been born in our days? I don't know.”

“I don't understand.”

“Neither do I. But I will. Or I won't.”

A door appeared next to them. I got a headache for directing my sight at it but I'd swear it was colorful and bright. I knew it was dangerous but I couldn't be afraid. Just observe everything petrified with a mix of fascination and horror.

“Goodbye, Jaime. Say hi to mum.”

The door opened, they smiled at me one last time and crossed the threshold closing the door behind and disappearing completely. 

The door vanished and only a low buzzing sound remained.

I fell to my knees and cried. I knew. I don’t know what but I knew. And it was terrifying,*sniff*

  
  


ARCHIVIST

Do you feel alright Mr. Velazquez, we can pause if you need to

JAIME

I'm fine just, it's just Jaime please no one has ever called me that

ARCHIVIST

Whenever you are ready Jaime

  
  


JAIME

Years passed. I went to counseling and tried to forget trying my life back together. The day I graduated robotics, I visited their grave. Roughly six years had passed since the incident, once since they were declared officially dead. Sunflowers used to be their favorites, something to do with *a sigh and then a chuckle* Shrek, so I got one for each year passed.

The door appeared again. I knew because of the low buzz, it enraged me, so I screamed at it to go away, to stop its games. Then it opened.

I thought I'd never see my sibling again. In a way I didn't. I don't think what I saw was my sibling but I can't bring myself to call it anything than that. 

They looked like my sibling in a wrong way, they were twisted and taller and brighter and their smile… That wasn't my sibling's smile it wasn't right 

“Sam!” I cried 

“hahaHAHA H A H A, sAm? tHeY aReN’t HeRe AnYmOrE sIlLy!”

“Sib…?

“i’M sOrRy, I rEaLlY aM”

“What have you done to them?”

“I Do NoT kNoW”

“Why are you here?”   
  
“I nEeD tO kNoW”

“What do you mean?”

“hahaHAHA H A H A H A H A ̴̧̼͚̜̼͉̏̒̀̉͆̀́̕͝H̴̬̱͉̼͚̤̺̙̤͇̱̼̾̌̈́͑̐̂͂̽̾̈́ͅ ̵̗̻̯͈̹̜̠͎͂̓͌̋̊͌͝͝A̶̢̨̛͈̟͇͕͚͎̯̘̅͊̐̈̇̔͝ ̷͓̙̼́̒̄̓͒̿̃͑͗Ḥ̷̲̣̭̺͔̇̈ ̵̤̎A̸̮̝̱̟̩͑̄̃̎̅̀̐”

  
  


I couldn’t move, already accepting my death when it stopped smiling. It’s face suddenly terrified.

Its mouth opened and closed a few times, but in the end, it didn’t say anything. The door reappeared and it went through it without any further theatrics.

My sibling isn’t dead. But they aren’t alive either. I hope at least they found what they wanted. I hope they finally know what they desperately wanted.

  
  
  


ARCHIVIST

Statement ends

JAIME

Don’t beat around the bush, will I see my sibling again?

ARCHIVIST

I don’t think so. My condolences

JAIME

I think this way is better. I rather mourn them now knowing they won’t return, than living the rest of my life hoping to see them back

ARCHIVIST

Yeah.

JAIME

Thank you 

ARCHIVIST

For what?

JAIME

Closure, I suppose

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> You can find my Sam design on Tumblr! (CW eyestrain)  
> https://zezolia.tumblr.com/post/617021715364675584/meet-my-avatarsona-sam-beholdingspiral-as-a


End file.
